you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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