i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Randomize
