i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Randomize
