Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Randomize
