I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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