I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Randomize
