her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
