really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
