yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
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