White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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