I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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