we made out on top of his cat.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Randomize
