Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Randomize
