i barfeds in our rink
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
