like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
