Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Randomize
