You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
