I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
