You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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