Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
