The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
