your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
