after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
