Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
operation harelip BJ is a go
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
