What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
