I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Randomize