is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
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