i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
