i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
