Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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