***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
being pregnant is like rehab
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize