Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
