If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Randomize
