I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I think my vagina is haunted
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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