Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
