That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Randomize
