Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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