I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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