I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
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