i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
