I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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