Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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