Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
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