I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
