I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
