we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize
