i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
