Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
