discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Randomize
