i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Randomize
