Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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