Pappa wants mamma naked
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
