my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
