I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
