is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
