ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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