Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I lost the right to judge tonight
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
