are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
