Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
