this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
