what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
