so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Randomize
