Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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